my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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