in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
