You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
