the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
