She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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