she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
They are going to name an STD after you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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