Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
