I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize