its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
