forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
