my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
