hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
