Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry about my life...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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