Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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