In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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