Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
