P.S. I can't hear my feet
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
