he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
