They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
