Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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