you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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