I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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