South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
