I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
