i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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