I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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