Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need moral support for this bender
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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