I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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