I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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