we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
