maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
