he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
