an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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