; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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