I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
