when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We had sex on a dog bed..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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