im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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