Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
