For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
