Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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