im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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