he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Congratulations! We have a period
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
