when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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