the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
