I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
