so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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