what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Panties = found
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
