I hate your face
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
