...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
