he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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