I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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