her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
