And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
