Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
