When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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