Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
