hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
