I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
