I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
