thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
