i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
